Dark Star

a pretty touching poem. i really liked it. it had good flow and the transitioning was pretty good. the emotion was strong but the writing was light which got the ...

this was a lot better and much stronger. there is still some punctuation missing that is important, without it some you you lines are like run ons. but other then ...

very interesting. i really enjoyed your poem. it was very discriptive and full of imagery. a deffinatly agree with kris..you have a way with words. you know how to use ...

well i must say, this is a lot better. more clear,and a lot more emotion is present now that things are a little more "brought together". good job!!!

your welcome...any time! =]

thanks for pointing that out (blackened). you were right. :) thanx!

wow...that is soo much better!!!so much more powerful and just overwelming with emotion!! the first stanza is 110% better then before and all the little changes that you made brought ...

"back to hell"...this verse is directed to the "devil" that is mentioned earlier. its saying that i wont do this so go back to where you came from kindda deal. ...

thanks all!!!

nice work! the message in the poem is clear and the sense of hesitation and fear is strong. sure the rhyming was a bit inconsistant but it was the power ...

wow....really full of emotion. one can really feel the intensity of it all. the little bit of ryming in there really added to the effect! awesome poem!! loved it!

no its all good..this is the thing i am looking really helps and its even better when ppl can be honest about it...ill review the article and re work the ...

i really loved this poem...the rhyming was awesome and the whole idea was great. sure its a story told many times over but it just doesnt seem to get old ...

alright..ill keep that in mind..thanx!!

im not sure what you mean...though i do appreciate your comments...could you plz be more spacifac? thanx again!